Domestic and financial abuse

Domestic abuse is a serious and often hidden issue that affects people of all ages and backgrounds. If you or someone you know experiences abuse, please know that help is available. This section explains how to recognise the signs of abuse, seek help safely and understand how we can help with your mortgage.

  • What is domestic abuse?

    Domestic abuse is when someone you know controls, threatens, hurts or scares you. This can happen once or many times. It can happen at home or in a close relationship, such as with a partner, ex-partner or family member.

    Abuse isn’t always physical violence. It includes different types of harm, such as controlling behaviour, emotional abuse, and financial control. These may be harder to notice but can be just as harmful.

  • Types of domestic abuse
    • Coercive control – when someone uses fear, threats or rules to control you. They may stop you from seeing others, limit your freedom, or set rules to embarrass you
    • Emotional and psychological abuse – when someone insults, frightens or humiliates you. This can include ‘gaslighting,’ where someone makes you question your own thoughts or memories
    • Financial abuse – when someone controls your money. They might steal from you, or force you into debt
    • Economic abuse – when someone stops you from earning or spending money. They may also control access to essentials, like transport, housing or food.

    These types of abuse often happen together. Financial and economic abuse can make it harder to leave an abusive situation.

  • How do I recognise the signs?

    Here are some examples of financial and domestic abuse:

    • “My ex-partner refuses to sign anything to help lower my mortgage, even though they no longer pay it”
    • “My partner forced me to take out a loan and put the money in their account”
    • “My family takes my wages every month. I never get to spend anything on myself”
    • “I had to give all my money to support my partner’s addiction”
    • “My family sold some of my belongings without me knowing”
    • “I’m not allowed to work. My partner insists I stay at home”
    • “Someone I met online keeps asking me for money.”
  • How can you help?

    We’re here to help you if you’re experiencing abuse. Any conversation you have with us will be confidential, and we’ll do everything we can to protect your personal data and keep you safe.

    We can:

    • Separate joint accounts (subject to criteria). Our relationship breakdown page has guidance on how you can split the mortgage, and the other steps you need to take when abuse is linked to a relationship breakdown
    • Send letters to a safe address. We won’t share these details with the other borrower(s)
    • Reset your hub account password
    • Provide details about any accounts you hold with us
    • Speak to a trusted third-party on your behalf. You don’t need tell the other borrower(s) if this puts you at risk. Visit our third party mandate page for details
    • Add a privacy alert to your account that alerts us of your situation. This makes sure we take extra care not to share any details with the other borrower(s). Adding this alert means we can’t upload any documents to your hub, as these can be viewed by everyone who has registered
    • Look at the options available if you have a dispute over your mortgage. For example, one borrower refuses to make changes, or you’re considering legal action to agree on separation of assets.

    You can call us on 0345 300 8000* or fill in our online support form. We’ll treat your information with care and keep it secure.

  • What other support is available?

    There are many organisations offering free, confidential help:

 

* Visit our accessibility support page to call using a British Sign Language (BSL) interpreter. To call using text Relay, dial 18001 then the number you want to call using a textphone or the Relay UK app. All calls are recorded for training and monitoring purposes. Lines are open 9am – 5pm, Monday to Friday. We’re closed on Bank Holidays. 03 calls cost no more than calls to geographic numbers (01 or 02). Calls from landlines and mobiles are included in free call packages.